An Afternoon at the DMV

This is an epic story telling of the day that Amber passed her Learner’s Permit test. The following events are absolutely, 100% true and must be told. Thankfully, Amber’s friend Madison can confirm these events. If that is not enough, one of Amber’s school friend’s dad was also there if another eyewitness is necessary. Before the story is told, the following disclaimers must be made:

#1 – If you do not like Potty humor, stop reading. You already know she passed.

#2 – The events that are about to be told were hysterically funny and probably one of those “you had to be there for it to be funny” situations. None the less, the story has to be told.

So, I wake up Amber and her friend Madison on Tuesday, June 28th at 8:10am for her to go take her test. We are trying to leave around 8:45. I go up at 8:40 to check the progress, and they were not close to being ready. Cue one “slightly” perturbed mom. They finally make it downstairs about 9:10 and we head to the DMV which is about 15 minutes from our house. I pull in the parking lot and for some unknown reason it strikes me that we brought no documentation for getting a learner’s permit. Yeah, nothing…no birth certificate, no social security card, nothing!! So we turn around and head back home to get those items. After all, it is only 15 minutes away. I look through Amber’s driver’s manual that I picked up months ago for the place where the lady underlined what I needed to bring in order for her to take the test. Yes, all of you who have already done this….I need a document from her school saying she is enrolled. Nice! Cue one “more than slightly” perturbed mom (at myself of course)! So, we head 25 minutes north, away from the DMV to get a form from the school indicating Amber goes to school there. With all documents in hand, we head back to the DMV, now 40 minutes away from our current location. Finally arriving at the DMV, we present our paperwork to the more than helpful lady sitting at the front desk. She is perplexed as to why Amber goes to school in Tennessee and lives in Alabama. Apparently, Amber is the only person that has ever done this. Upon consulting a supervisor, it is determined that Amber can in fact get an Alabama Learner’s Permit. We take a seat, and having checked my impatience at the door, get ready for the 1 hour plus wait. After about an hour and 15 minutes, Amber is called back to take her test while Madison and I wait (and pray) for her.

Now, at this point I must pause and paint a picture of our DMV for those who are not blessed enough to live in the city of Huntsville in the state of Alabama. I am sure it is like many other DMVs around the country. We’ve all been there and we all hate them!! Imagine a 50’x25’ room, with 4 rows of about 20 chairs all facing an incredibly small TV at the front of the room. About 5 feet to the right of the chairs are the bathrooms. The ladies’ is at the top right corner and the mens’ is at the back right.

So there are about 25-30 people sitting in the chairs and there is a murmur of various conversations going on all around the room. All of the sudden we hear from the men’s bathroom…”Can someone please get me some toilet paper?” All conversations cease at that point and we hear “Pllleeaaassseee, can someone get me some toilet paper?” A few people snicker and we hear “Toooiiiillleeetttt Paaappeeerrrr? Can someone bring me some toilet paper, or a paper towel, or a napkin, or somethin'? I’ve got a messy situation in here! Can someone pllleeassseeee bring me some toilet paper?” The snickers have now turned to giggles!!! One of the DMV officers has now heard the cries for help and has gotten up, crossed in front of all the chairs, and is shaking her head profusely. Finally we hear “I’ll do a courtesy flush!!! Please bring me some tooooiiiilllllllet paaappppperrrr!!!” I am about to bust a gut from laughing so hard and apparently I am the only one with any mercy on the poor guy and I yell out “she’s coming!” Everyone is laughing out loud now, not even trying to hide it. The guy gets his toilet paper, comes out and walks the 5 feet to the chair closest to the men’s bathroom and sits WITH HIS FAMILY!!!!!! Madison and I bust out laughing again!!!! The guy says “gah! There is 25 of y’all out here and ya’ couldn’t bring me some toilet paper?!”

So, all of the running around we had to do before Amber got to take her test turned out to be a blessing! If we had gotten there according to plan, we never would have the story of “The Dude and His Plea for Toilet Paper”!!!

She is so awesome!! :)